10/20/2026
🚨 BREAKING NEWS: NEW HIRE ALERT! 🚨
🤠 Everybody meet Colter Wyatt, the newest member of the crew! 💙
So far, his job performance has been questionable at best. He clocks in, eats, sleeps, and contributes absolutely NOTHING but baby snuggles and cuteness 😂 He’s already figured out how to get people to take time off work, and he hasn’t even learned how to hold his own head up yet! 🤣
He has zero experience, no references, can’t follow directions, and requires constant supervision. His benefits package includes unlimited milk, contact naps, and a personal chauffeur available 24/7. 🍼😂
His big brother, who is the ACTUAL BOSS, is less than impressed with the company’s decision to bring in new management. He’s currently evaluating whether this new hire is worth keeping on the payroll. So far, the jury is still out. 🤣🤣
Management has decided to keep him on a probationary period because, unfortunately, he’s just too darn cute to fire. 💙🤎
Welcome to the crew, Colter Wyatt! We’re happy to have you, even if you are already costing us a fortune and doing absolutely NOTHING to earn it! 😂🤠🍼
P.S. We’ll keep you posted on his progress. At this rate, we expect him to be promoted to supervisor sometime around 2045. 🤣💙
Congratulations Michael, Angel and Stetson!!! 🎊
