10/25/2025
XIV
14 years ago last week I woke up in a strange place in a strange state with some strange assigned roommates. At 32 years old the fight had been beaten right out of me. I can still clearly remember sweating, shaking and bleeding. This had been an everyday occurrence for me for long enough to know this is what life was.
Honestly, that’s not even the saddest deal for an addict or alcoholic. The worst is not even being able to get back to zero. Putting in all of your resources all of your efforts to get your fix and boom. Nothing. The noise is still there the world still so intrusive.
At this point in the game I wouldn’t change a thing. To all the people that I used to all the relationships that I’ve burned down, the shame that I felt All of it lead me here. A life worth living. After working the steps an awakening had happened. I owned and honer those past burnt bridges with the way that I chose to live today. If it had not been for the few of God’s soldiers that I met right off the rip on this thing. Not sure I would be here. Thank you to all that have taught and continue to teach and administer counsel.
Today my life is unrecognizable from what it once was. God has me at the best seat in the house to witness what it has in store for me. A wise man used to tell me that Grace trumps karma, I have seen that to be true.
This game we play is all about the work. Soul surgery that without constant maintenance, forever growing and walking through the idea of fears we get to live for others. I have been witness to the repair of relationships, loss on economic insecurity, a oneness, discoveries of truth, deep friendships, hopelessness restored, fathers becoming fathers, and so much more. The miracles are all around us.
I am Bj. A recovered he**in addict and alcoholic.
If you or anyone you know are struggling with addiction. There is hope. Reach out to me or countless others that have a solution.
Do you like what you got?
