The Sweep Guy

The Sweep Guy Your friendly local chimney sweep, based in Witham, Essex. Using traditional and modern methods of s

And just like that… it’s September! 🍂You went from “Bloody hell, when is this 120 days of summer going to end?” ☀️🥵To…“R...
01/09/2026

And just like that… it’s September! 🍂

You went from “Bloody hell, when is this 120 days of summer going to end?” ☀️🥵

To…

“Right, where’s my jumper, where’s the firewood, and can you get The Sweep Guy round to do the chimney?” 😂🔥🧹

And suddenly everyone remembers they have a chimney! 😂

The phone starts ringing, the diary starts filling up, and everyone wants it done “before the first fire of the year”.

If only you’d booked it when it was 30°C… 😜

Don’t leave it until the first cold night when you’re stood there staring at the fireplace thinking, “I really should have booked that chimney sweep sooner.” 😂

Get ahead of the rush and get your chimney sorted before you actually need it! 🔥🧹

The Sweep Guy — making sure your chimney is ready before winter remembers where you live. 😎

Tel. 07961 845837 (WhatsApp or Text)
[email protected]
Or a message on here.

24/07/2026

🍂 Essex - it's that time of year again!

As the evenings start to draw in (and they are), now is the perfect time to get your chimney swept before you light your first fire of the season.

(However I'm not sweeping over the 6 weeks school holiday)

A clean chimney helps:
• Reduce the risk of chimney fires
• Improve the efficiency of your stove or open fire
• Prevent smoke and carbon monoxide problems
• Keep your home warm and safe this winter

I'm a professional chimney sweep based in Essex, offering a reliable, friendly service with no mess left behind.

Appointments are filling up quickly, so if your chimney is due a sweep, send me a message today to get booked in.

The Sweep Guy
Serving Essex

Bore off with ya shave, ear and nose wax. It’s a god-damn barbers just to get ya hair cut. You don’t even book it online...
15/02/2026

Bore off with ya shave, ear and nose wax. It’s a god-damn barbers just to get ya hair cut. You don’t even book it online — you just turn up in the morning thinking you’ll be in and out before anything starts.

There’s already six blokes ahead of you, one kid spinning on a chair like it’s a fairground ride, and a fella who’s somehow been “next” since sunrise. You walk in for a quick trim before the day gets going and suddenly it’s a full morning commitment. I went in with bed hair and came out needing lunch.

Then when it’s finally your turn:
“Want a shave?”
“No.”
“Hot towel?”
“No.”
“Eyebrows, ears, nose wax?”
Mate, I’ve barely had a coffee. I just want less hair than I walked in with. I’m not here for a spa morning and a service history.

And there’s always one bloke in the chair asking for something that takes 45 minutes. “Yeah bro just a skin fade, beard sculpt, line-up…” He’s getting more attention than a wedding cake while the rest of us are ageing on the bench watching our morning disappear.

By the time you sit down you’re so relieved you’d agree to anything. Next thing you know your ears are on fire, your neck smells like aftershave from 1983, and you’ve tipped a fiver out of pure survival instinct. All I wanted was a short back and sides before the day started, not a test of endurance and a minor chemical peel.

12/02/2026

Running a small business means every day is carefully planned so I can get to everyone on time.

When you book a 2-hour appointment slot with me, please make sure you’re home during that window. I will always do my best to arrive within your allocated time, and if I’m running early I’ll send a text to let you know 👍 and if I'm running late I will always send a text 👍

However, I can only wait 15 minutes if there’s no answer. After that, I’ll need to move on to my next customer so I don’t make everyone else late. I’ll still allow a 15-minute grace period after your time slot ends, but I can’t sit around all day waiting as it affects the rest of my bookings.

Thanks so much for understanding and supporting a small local business — it really helps keep the day running smoothly for everyone! 🧹🔥

16/01/2026

🔥 Why chimney sweeping & checks are so important 🔥

I’ve just been on a job where, during a smoke test, the appliance failed due to a damaged rope seal around the glass.

Now here’s the worrying part…
You probably wouldn’t notice this during normal use. When the fire is burning hot, it creates a strong draw and pulls the smoke straight up the chimney. Everything seems fine.

The danger comes when the fire dies down. As the temperature drops, the draw weakens and the smoke starts looking for other ways out — through gaps, faulty seals, and into your home.

That’s why regular chimney sweeping and appliance checks aren’t just about keeping things clean — they’re about safety. Issues like this aren’t always obvious, but they can lead to smoke leakage and potentially dangerous fumes indoors.

If it’s been a while since your chimney or stove was checked, don’t put it off. A simple inspection can make all the difference. 🔍🔥

07/01/2026

If you book a slot with me - please be home :(

I had driven 40 minutes today to an appointment (that was confirmed via messenger) & nobody home.

Then it was another 30 minutes drive to my next appointment.

Theres is a £40 missed appointment fee - this covers my time and fuel.

Merry Christmas & Thank you - I hope you all have a lovely Christmas 🎅
24/12/2025

Merry Christmas & Thank you - I hope you all have a lovely Christmas 🎅

🧹 Chimney Sweeping Isn’t Just About Soot 🧹Did you know that cobwebs inside your chimney or flue can stop carbon monoxide...
19/12/2025

🧹 Chimney Sweeping Isn’t Just About Soot 🧹

Did you know that cobwebs inside your chimney or flue can stop carbon monoxide from escaping properly?

Over time, unused chimneys build up cobwebs, bird nests, debris and soot. These can restrict airflow, meaning dangerous gases like carbon monoxide can be pushed back into your home instead of safely venting outside.

Carbon monoxide is colourless, odourless, and deadly — and blockages are a common cause.

✔️ Regular chimney sweeping
✔️ Keeping flues clear of cobwebs and nests
✔️ Annual checks (especially before winter)

All help keep your home safe, warm, and properly ventilated.

If you haven’t had your chimney swept recently, now’s the time. Your lungs will thank you. 🔥🏠

Merry Christmas

Just a reminder - if I drive 30 miles (45 minutes) to sweep your chimney, I've given you a 2 hour window of when I'm goi...
18/12/2025

Just a reminder - if I drive 30 miles (45 minutes) to sweep your chimney, I've given you a 2 hour window of when I'm going to arrive and you're not in, or don't hear me knocking there will be a £40 missed appointment fee. This covers my fuel and time.
This is a busy time of year and not fair on other people waiting to have their chimney swept.

Merry Christmas 🎅

17/12/2025

Let's take a look up a chimney thats just been swept!

Address

Witham

Telephone

+447961845837

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