06/08/2026
🚨 Warning: soul-sucking job alert! 🚨
We're on the hunt for a multi-trade martyr, preferably a carpenter or anything really, to join our team of masochistic masters!
Hours are ridiculously long, pay is laughable, and our team will lovingly mock you behind your back (and occasionally to your face).
You'll get all the jobs that make you question your life choices, and if you're a glutton for punishment, you can do ours too while we're sipping coffee and making fun of you. ☕️
Company van provided... just kidding, it's a clunker! youll never get one.
One day holiday entitlement per year after 20 years of servitude (yay?).
No sick pay, pension, or benefits, because who needs those, right?
Send your CV with a covering letter, and we'll promptly ignore it or call us and have our grumpiest team member hang up on you.
CV to: [email protected] or call us on 0330 GO AWAY (calls charged at £50 per second, because we hate you).
😂 😂
