05/19/2023
I was having a “bad” morning. My son didn’t want to get up for school and we had a fight. Not how I like to start my day.
Feeling like I needed a change up I got my shoes on in a huff and took Charlie out for a walk. I only made it a few hundred feet when I noticed someone with a shopping cart going through the recycle bins. At first, I was judgemental and even considered calling the police. But I didn’t. I kept watching as I walked and realized this person was harmless just looking for bottles to stack in the cart they were pushing.
Kind of ashamed of my first reaction, I got a little curious about that person and their story. This months member coaching theme is curiosity so I applied my own coaching to myself. As we came around the block I watched this person pull out all the cardboard items to reach the few valuable cans on the bottom. The wind was blowing, so she puts her foot on the stack she pulled out, holding it down firmly until she retrieved the items of value… then she neatly puts it all back. When I got close enough I said, “you are working hard today” to which she responded, “just trying to get enough together to eat. I never make a mess though.”
Wow.
“She has standards” I thought. How many people don’t have those these days, and yet we judge someone like her.
I went back into my house, made a sandwich and decided to run it to her. I couldn’t find her on foot so ran back, got Charlie and decided to drive around. The whole time thinking I should get to work… but I just really needed to learn her story.
I found her, gave her the lunch and then asked “what’s your story?” To which she instantly broke into tears and said “I never had to live like this until my dad and brother died. I lived with them.”
In only a few minutes of listening to her, I realized two things (again). First, everyone has a story and we should try not to judge them from what we see on the outside. Secondly, how truly blessed I am. This woman had a series of unfortunate events that left her feeling broken and alone. She can’t get social assisted living because she “has no one” and the stepping stones place she stayed at is only open in the winter. It’s warmer now so she has to sleep outside.
I couldn’t help remembering the first thing that shocked me about her was the standards to never leave a mess.
I told her I can’t help fix all her problems, but I would like to help. That led me to give her a bag of recycling, an extra bag for collecting bottles, a pillow, blanket and teddy bear (so she feels less alone) and some money for bus fare.
Please don’t think this is about me doing some good that I deserve accolades. I didn’t do anything extraordinary and a few bucks is not a big deal for me- but it clearly was/ is for her. I mean really, the fact giving that doesn’t cause me hardship really shows how blessed I am.
I share this just to offer perspective. A perspective I needed to get myself today. And here’s the other thing…
My whole day changed when I decided to shift from my “problems” to helping someone else. I don’t know for sure, but I think that besides the few little tangible things I gave her, the bigger gift was seeing her as a person and taking a few minutes to care.
I have no idea what will happen to Chrissy but I know this, she gave me something today that was just as valuable as I gave her. I hope this true story offers you the same.
🤍
Corliss
