06/14/2026
🌵 ARIZONA MAN STRIKES AGAIN – TUCSON EDITION 🌵
Tucson, AZ — Local man Josiah reportedly attempted to “handle a small pest problem” himself this morning… neighbors say it quickly turned into a full-blown wildlife negotiation.
Witnesses claim Josiah was seen in flip-flops, holding a can of bug spray in one hand and a broom in the other, yelling:
“WE CAN COEXIST!” at a swarm of bees living in his wall.
Moments later, the situation escalated when he discovered “just a little clutter” in his backyard was actually:
3 broken couches
half a trampoline
mysterious bags labeled “don’t open”
and what may or may not be a retired javelina hangout
Authorities say Josiah then attempted to “clean everything at once,” resulting in:
✔️ Bees getting angry
✔️ Rodents filing complaints
✔️ Backyard achieving “biohazard chic”
When asked for comment, Josiah stated:
“I thought I could save money…”
🚨 DON’T BE LIKE JOSIAH 🚨
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👉 Pest problems? We got you.
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