Honoring Our Animals

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Honoring Our Animals Beth Bigler, GC-C, PGSS-C
🐾Pet Loss Grief Counselor 🐾
💔Support before & after your loss

Many grieving guardians I work with in pet loss grief counseling keep small habits like this one and haven't mentioned t...
10/14/2026

Many grieving guardians I work with in pet loss grief counseling keep small habits like this one and haven't mentioned them to anyone.

Some check the floor before shutting a door or listen for paws before the lock turns.

Routines built over years with a beloved can keep running on their own.

These traditions can be so supportive and it's something I teach.

Chosen on purpose, one can become a continuing bonds practice that keeps your relationship with your animal companion alive and vibrant.

Every milk ring I come across I still save for Zelda even though she transitioned many years ago. I put each one on her altar.

What's a small habit you still keep for your beloved?

I’ve been a pet loss grief counselor long enough now to have some idea what’s typical, and the thing I’d most want peopl...
10/13/2026

I’ve been a pet loss grief counselor long enough now to have some idea what’s typical, and the thing I’d most want people outside this to understand is how ordinary the intensity is.

Guardians arrive at a first session apologizing.

They tell me they know it’s “just a dog” or “only a bunny.” They say they’d never admit to anyone how bad it’s been. Some of them have been carrying deep shame about their feelings they’ve never said out loud.

And then they describe something that makes complete sense, which is that their relationship with their beloved is the most supportive, intimate, and profound of their lives and the rest of the world doesn’t seem to get it.

I’ve never once thought someone was making too much of it. I felt the same way when my soulmate cat, Arnie, transitioned.

Has anyone ever made you feel like you were overreacting?

10/12/2026

The pet loss grief you’re carrying into Thanksgiving doesn’t need to be explained or justified to anyone at the table, including whoever asks if you’re getting another one yet.

Most people don’t know how to be with their own grief, let alone someone else’s. Pet loss grief rarely fits the kind of grief many of us were taught to make room for, so a line like “you can get another one” tends to say more about their discomfort than about you or your beloved.

Plenty of them mean it kindly and they’re picturing you happy again. None of that makes it their business.

Not everyone will show up with kindness and you’re allowed to protect yourself at the Thanksgiving table and beyond. If you’re in Canada that table is today and in the US you’ve got until late November to get ready.

Not every comment needs an answer. For the ones that land anyway, here are a few to keep in your pocket. Take whatever feels supportive and leave the rest.

“Ouch.”
Silence.
“Thanks for thinking of me. I’m not ready to welcome another family member into my life at this time. I’ll let you know when or if that changes.”
Their name, said out loud and left there.
“Can I tell you a story about them instead?”
“I’d rather not discuss this right now.”
“I need a minute,” and a walk outside.

Skipping the gathering if being around dismissive people doesn’t feel supportive.

That “when or if” in the longer answer is there on purpose. Opening your home again someday wouldn’t betray your beloved and it’s nobody’s call but yours.

I’m sharing holiday survival tips for grieving guardians in my newsletter all season. Comment HOAletter and I’ll send it to you.

How do you usually answer this one?

10/12/2026

The pet loss grief you’re carrying into Thanksgiving doesn’t need to be explained or justified to anyone at the table, including whoever asks if you’re getting another one yet.

Most people don’t know how to be with their own grief, let alone someone else’s. Pet loss grief rarely fits the kind of grief many of us were taught to make room for, so a line like “you can get another one” tends to say more about their discomfort than about you or your beloved.

Plenty of them mean it kindly and they’re picturing you happy again. None of that makes it their business.

Not everyone will show up with kindness and you’re allowed to protect yourself at the Thanksgiving table and beyond. If you’re in Canada that table is today and in the US you’ve got until late November to get ready.

Not every comment needs an answer. For the ones that land anyway, here are a few to keep in your pocket. Take whatever feels supportive and leave the rest.

“Ouch.”
Silence.
“Thanks for thinking of me. I’m not ready to welcome another family member into my life at this time. I’ll let you know when or if that changes.”
Their name, said out loud and left there.
“Can I tell you a story about them instead?”
“I’d rather not discuss this right now.”
“I need a minute,” and a walk outside.
Skipping the gathering if being around dismissive people doesn’t feel supportive.

That “when or if” in the longer answer is there on purpose. Opening your home again someday wouldn’t betray your beloved and it’s nobody’s call but yours.

I’m sharing holiday survival tips for grieving guardians in my newsletter all season. Comment HOAletter and I’ll send it to you.

How do you usually answer this one?

This comes up more than almost anything else in my pet loss grief work.It almost always comes out at the very end of a s...
10/12/2026

This comes up more than almost anything else in my pet loss grief work.

It almost always comes out at the very end of a session, right when someone’s about to log off.

Part of what makes it so painful is the math underneath it. If you want another animal, then maybe the one you had was replaceable, and if they were replaceable then maybe the love wasn’t what you thought it was.

That’s what the guilt is running on. It’s wrong, but it’s convincing at three in the morning.

I waited three and a half years after my soulmate cat Arnie transitioned.

Not because that was the right amount of time, and not because I had a rule about it. That’s just how long it took me.

Some guardians adopt within a month and grieve for years. Some wait a decade and still feel like they’re sneaking around behind someone they love.

If the guilt around this is loud enough that you can’t think straight, that’s the kind of thing 1:1 pet loss grief support is for.

Have you experienced this?

10/10/2026

When pet loss grief brings tears you can thank them before you reach for an apology or a quick swipe under your eyes.

Researchers who study crying suggest it may help the nervous system settle after distress. Some also believe tears are linked to oxytocin and endorphins, chemicals the body uses to soothe itself, which may be part of why many people notice some relief after a hard cry. It’s also why I tell grieving guardians there’s no such thing as crying too much.

So the invitation is to speak to your tears, in the middle of a cry or once it eases, in the car or on the floor beside their bed, quietly or out loud.

“Thank you tears for soothing and providing release.”

And if you’re not a big crier, that’s okay too. Some grieving guardians cry every day and some rarely cry. There’s no right or wrong amount and dry eyes say nothing about your bond with your beloved. Do what feels most supportive to you in your pet grief.

I wrote Honoring Our Animals: 365 Meditations for Healing After Pet Loss with a meditation for every day of the year, for the crying days and the dry-eyed ones. Comment HOABOOK and I’ll send you the link.

Have you ever thanked your tears? Or if tears don’t come easily, how does your grief show up instead?

So many grieving guardians start a sentence about their soulmate pet with “sorry.” Sorry, I know it’s just a cat. Sorry,...
10/09/2026

So many grieving guardians start a sentence about their soulmate pet with “sorry.” Sorry, I know it’s just a cat. Sorry, I’m still crying about this. Sorry, it’s been months.

I hear it in almost every session, and I understand where it comes from. The people around you may have shrugged, changed the subject or told you it was time, and apologizing first can feel safer than waiting for that reaction.

These slides offer a different place to stand. You loved someone with your whole heart, you still do, and the way you grieve them is part of how that love keeps showing up.

I’d love to read the ways you honor your beloved in the comments.

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