08/01/2026
TACO BELL UNVEILS ALL LETTUCE MENU TO CLEAR OVERSTOCK
GEORGETOWN - In a brilliant marketing pivot following the infamous local outbreak of explosive diarrhea traced back to contaminated greens, Taco Bell has officially revamped its menu to feature exclusive, lettuce-only options.
To quickly clear out massive mountains of leftover shredded iceberg that survived the safety recall, the drive-thru is now proudly serving lettuce tacos, lettuce burritos, and crisp lettuce bowls.
"We had tons of excess foliage taking up fridge space," explained manager Jeff Atwood while wrapping a handful of shredded iceberg inside a larger, flat lettuce leaf. "Now health-conscious customers can enjoy pure, unadulterated crunch!"
Early brave diners are already lining up to try the low-carb, high-fiber creations, with the "Crunchy Lettuce Supreme"—which is simply extra lettuce topped with a lighter sprinkling of lettuce—proving to be an instant hit.
Management remains confident that this bold, leaf-forward strategy will permanently turn their recent crisp dilemma into a profitable culinary triumph.
This is a developing story
*****
The Georgetown Insider is a news satire and parody publication. All content contained within this page, however similar to real events, is fictitious. Any real, semi-real or similar names, places, people, p ducts, services and locales are used purely for satirical purposes, and the corresponding story details are purely fictional. Thank you!
