24/03/2013
Why are some men scared of commitment?
1. You're hinting too aggressively
Men need to feel like commitment is their idea, even if pressuring them into committing to you works (some women hint very aggressively until they get engaged), this may lead to resentment and lack of REAL commitment and faithfulness long term.
I've seen some guys date girls for 3+ years, only to get engaged to the next one who comes along even though they've only been dating for 6 months.
Often the next one who comes along is seen as less 'suffocating' due to less commitment pressure. Or it's simply due to the fact that they are now ready for commmitment when in the past they were not.
Hinting or talking about commitment once isn't a bad thing, but if you find yourself doing it week in, week out, it's likely to be doing more harm than good. You may simply be with the wrong person if you feel a need for more commitment right now.
If he wants to commit to you, then allow him to get to that stage on his own.
2. You don't support his ambitions and/or don't make him feel appreciated enough
Men need their egos stroked, and for him to feel like you are 'the one' it will help a lot if you can notice all the good things he does (and his body if you like it, etc).
It is also incredibly important that you don't try to change him too much, support him in his dreams, whatever they may be (starting his own company, travelling the world, etc).
It sounds obvious, but there are a lot of women out there who try to mould their man into the man they wished they were, rather than supporting them in being the best version of themselves that they can be.
3. He hasn't grown up enough yet.
Men can take a little longer to grow up than women.
It takes a certain amount of maturity to get to the point of commitment, and he may not be quite there yet. An immature man can rarely consider the wants and needs of others above his own.
4. The s*x isn't good enough
If he has had a partner before with whom with the s*x was better, or more frequent, this can make him nervous about committing to you forever.
If you feel that s*x isn't important, then that attitude could well be a reason for lack of long term commitment.
5. There's someone else.
Hopefully this isn't the case, but it is possible he has someone else on his mind, leaving him confused about what kind of future he wants for you and him.
It is also possible he is not over his ex partner, or doesn't see you as better than them (men want to commit to the best they've ever had).
6. He has other priorities.
He balances out everything- work, family, and friends.
If he feels he's got other areas in his life that require more attention, then that will come first and he will think of you later.
7. His close friends haven't committed yet.
The majority of men will want to commit eventually. But he may not have wanted to be the first one out of his group of friends, feeling like he misses out on anything with his single friends.
8. Loss of free time.
He likes time to himself and to do his own thing. Serious relationships take up an enormous amount of time and energy and he doesn't want that kind of pressure.
9. His history.
When you learn about his past relationships, and his childhood ones, then you may understand why he can't commit to you.
He could be swearing off new relationships because of pain that was caused by a previous breakup. He may need a little extra time until he feels safe in his new relationship with you.
I hope you found great value in today's newsletter.
