13/08/2026
The Friends of Horsforth Skatepark are doing wonderful work. Funding, training and beginner sessions all deserve credit. Unfortunately, somebody else appears to be running an unofficial outreach programme involving cannabis smoke, discarded rubbish and tiny plastic baggies commonly associated with co***ne. Their contents remain untested, although Hall Park’s sudden demand for individual portions of sea salt would represent an encouraging development in local cuisine.
The bins are already there. They require no grant, coaching certificate or public consultation. You walk towards one, place the rubbish inside and continue with your life. Yet some users remain unable to complete this advanced manoeuvre, despite apparently possessing the coordination required to purchase drugs, prepare drugs and consume drugs. Perhaps litter disposal will be introduced at the intermediate sessions.
Cannabis does not inevitably lead to co***ne, but the two appear perfectly capable of sharing a skatepark. When drug use around children is tolerated, boundaries become decorative. Park rules and bylaws may technically prohibit this behaviour, but an unenforced bylaw is merely a strongly worded suggestion wearing council trousers. The smoke remains, the baggies accumulate and everybody waits for responsibility to arrive on the next shift.
Use the skatepark. Make noise. Fall over. Get back up. Have a brilliant time. But use the bloody bin, and if drugs are essential to your afternoon, find somewhere without children. Breaking the law beside seven-year-olds is not rebellious. It is merely pathetic behaviour with an audience too young to tell you how unimpressive you look.
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Disclaimer: This post is satire. No baggie was chemically tested, no bylaw was seen leaving its office, and the skatepark’s artisanal seasoning cooperative remains unavailable for comment.
