25/05/2026
Farm Fest - Managing expectations - a lesson for all or just some maybe.
This weekend I had the absolute pleasure of attending Clarkson‘s newest adventure
As with all things Clarkson it was an outstandingly well managed, very professional and rather polished. The festival itself was a hybrid of a country fair mixed in with a music festival mixed in with a regional farmers market with a dog show area…and horse area and food area and more so much more from tractors to parachutes…
The result was a festival that offered most of the audience, a really great day out at a realistic price, and a few people the absolute dream day out probably including all Clarkson fans, and farmers with double barrelled names wearing their Hexby shorts with and crew polo tops.
But there was a couple of negatives, the heat, in the true british sense it was unbearable, and just slightly hotter than the surface of the sun with very little sitting areas, and almost none that had any form of shelter that didn’t cook me further, but equally it was a world record heatwave for May
And then the amount of traders moaning. I counted at least three hot tubs sellers, one of which the staff were making lewd and suggestive remarks to women passing by….. not really acceptable.
It seems however that nearly all the traders I spoke with went expecting it was “who wants to be a millionaire” riding on the shirt tales of Jermery and his team.
What they failed to notice was being spread over the vast site has issues, and me parking nearly 6 fields away meant I wouldn’t be buying a 25kg bag of dog food anymore than I would buy a phoenix rising from a tree stump carved with a chainsaw for £900!
Not because I don’t need or want their once in a life time show special deal, but just because I already feel like Lt Col Paddy Mayne looking towards another battle match across the deserts of Libya to get back to my car and just don’t want to carry a sack of dog food as well as the jars of Honey, sea salt from North Yorkshire and boot jack made from old horse shoes and a tin of hammerite, this when considering that two of my children are now complaining of feeling sick due to nuclear heat being released by the sun and a three bags of handmade boutique Devon fudge combined with sore feet due to the nice new shinny Derry boots blistering their tiny toes.
Now trading is not easy, and every single show is gamble for every trader, especially when it’s the first time it’s happened, you have no idea of your pitch location, the number of punters, what’s the weather going to be, or if your the 5th of 15th burger van.
But please don’t moan at us the public, you took your chance and sadly you lost, not one of you would of been sending extra funds to Clarkson enterprises Ltd if you had a brilliant event, on this occassion it didn’t work out, move on!
Some did reflect and did it with class - Spud Man reflected but in a well balanced manner, but selling curry filled roast hot jacket spud in the boiling heat, may not have the same results as strawberry’s and ice cream, others took to foul mouth rants on tickety tock and went home early to blame the world for their own poor choices.
For a first event, it was amazing, yes it will get bigger and better, tweaks and improvements made, but for a first event if looked and already felt like a well established festival.
Well done The Great British Farm-Fest and Jeremy Clarkson
